Borderline Personality Disorder

Understanding Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)

Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is a complex and deeply distressing mental health condition that affects the way a person thinks, feels, and relates—both to themselves and others. While everyone experiences emotional ups and downs, individuals with BPD often find their emotions shifting more quickly and more intensely than those around them. These rapid changes can make daily life feel overwhelming and relationships feel unstable or unpredictable.

Living with BPD does not mean someone is “broken” or “too much.” It means that their emotional system is highly sensitive, reactive, and often difficult to regulate without support. With the right combination of therapy, skills training, and understanding, healing is very possible.

Common Experiences of BPD

BPD may look different from person to person, but common experiences can include:

  • Intense emotions that feel difficult to manage

  • Fear of abandonment or rejection

  • Relationship patterns that shift quickly from closeness to conflict

  • Chronic feelings of emptiness

  • Impulsive behaviours (such as spending, substance use, or self-harm)

  • Difficulty trusting how others feel about you

  • Rapid changes in mood or sense of self

  • Feeling disconnected or numb under stress

These experiences are not personal failings. They are patterns that developed to protect a nervous system that learned, often early in life, to survive instability, trauma, or invalidation.

What Causes BPD?

There is no single cause. Rather, BPD develops through a combination of:

  • Genetic factors

  • Brain-based differences in emotion regulation

  • Environmental influences, including trauma, inconsistent caregiving, or chronic invalidation

Understanding the origins of BPD can help reduce shame and increase self-compassion. It helps clients recognize that many of their struggles were once coping mechanisms that made sense in the context they developed.

How BPD Is Treated

Effective treatment for BPD focuses on learning skills for emotional regulation, improving relationships, and strengthening a stable sense of self. Treatment is collaborative, supportive, and paced according to each person’s readiness and goals.

Common approaches include:

Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT)

DBT is one of the most well-researched and widely recommended treatments for BPD. It teaches practical skills to help manage overwhelming emotions and reduce harmful behaviours.

DBT often includes:

  • Mindfulness
    Learning to stay grounded and present

  • Emotion Regulation Skills
    Understanding emotions and reducing their intensity

  • Distress Tolerance
    Managing crises without escalating the situation

  • Interpersonal Effectiveness
    Building healthier communication and relationships

Many clients find DBT empowering because it provides both practical tools and emotional validation.


Trauma-Informed Therapy

Because many individuals with BPD have a history of trauma or attachment wounds, trauma-informed approaches can help address underlying patterns.

This may include:

  • Sensorimotor psychotherapy

  • EMDR

  • Trauma-focused CBT

  • Internal Family Systems (IFS)

  • Somatic approaches

These therapies gently help clients understand the connection between past experiences and present reactions.

Psychodynamic and Attachment-Based Therapies

These approaches explore unconscious emotional patterns, relational dynamics, and the history that shaped them. They help clients develop self-awareness, strengthen identity, and build healthier relational boundaries.


Medication Support

While medication does not “cure” BPD, it can help manage co-occurring concerns—such as mood disorders, anxiety, or impulsivity. A healthcare provider can guide whether medication may be helpful.


What Healing Can Look Like

Many individuals with BPD describe therapy as life-changing. With time and support, people often experience:

  • More stable and manageable emotions

  • Increased confidence and self-esteem

  • Healthier, safer relationships

  • Stronger boundaries and communication skills

  • A clearer sense of identity and purpose

  • Reduced impulsive behaviours

  • Greater resilience in times of stress

Healing is not linear, and that’s okay. What matters is progress—not perfection.

Ready To Take The Next Step?

Counselling for BPD can provide a compassionate, non-judgemental space where you can explore your experiences and learn new ways to navigate life. Whether you’re seeking structured skills work, trauma healing, or a space to deepen self-understanding, we can support you.

Our counsellors Jason Chang, RCC, and Ruby Chu, RCC are trained in trauma modalities, including EMDR, and DBT. They have extensive experience working with personality disorders, and are prepared to take the approach that is right for you, whether that’s skills-building, emotional regulation, or trauma work.

If you’d like to learn more, or explore whether our counsellors iare right for you, please reach out:

Phone: (778)715-0112

Email: info@willowbarkwellness.com

Or book a complimentary 15 minute consultation with any of our counsellors to see if they’re the right fit for you.